doglets: sext: sorry just got this text haha. do u still have a boner?
pastthemoonandthestars: i say such sexual and inappropriate things but in reality i’m the biggest virgin you’ll ever meet if i had to choose a sentence to describe myself this would be it
Oh my gosh people, be nice to your waiter/waitress, it’s not their fault that your food is cold or if it’s under cooked. Be nice to the cashiers who are still training and can’t ring up your items as quickly as you want. If a stranger smiles and says hello to you, smile and say hello back! It’s just common courtesy, I don’t understand why people have to be so rude.
asap-tran: really-shit: If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you. fuck
godtie: do you ever just glance at a guys crotch and think “theres a dick there”
8oo: i told my dad his chicken was dry and tasteless and he said it was made out of my humor
punkbread: i hate it when kids are assholes you cant even punch them or anything cause theyre like 9 and they know this those smug little shits
princesshoff: i just had a dream that macklemore was at my house and he told me that he’d spent all the money he made from Thrift Shop and couldn’t buy food and i said “aw do you need some snacklemore” and he punched me in the face
badwolfxvx: PRO TIP: if your partner polices your appearance/body in any form or fashion, they’re a total asshole and you should dump their scrub ass. if they’re more fond of their preferences than you, they don’t deserve you.
grodus: true friendship is being comfortable enough to openly discuss pornography with each other
shutupaubrey: team “i wore this yesterday but i’m going to a different place so it doesn’t matter”
uptownquirrells: tumbl-rarity: slytherlocked: femtaktfilosofi: I feel weird if I don’t use Neil Patrick Harris’ full name #same with Robert Downey Jr and Joseph Gordon Levitt and Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa Ramírez